Confusion ..

The ones who know me real know that I cry a lot.. it is my way to set free sad thoughts.. I think that tears are beautiful.. they show our emotions.. they show that we really do care.. I could never say anyone that her/his crying disgusts me.. people who say smth like that are weak inside their selves or they are just evil.. in a week I will be in Maastricht and I feel that confusion has overpowered my mind.. it is a mix from fear and excitement.. I know that a lot of people envy my spirit to make my dreams come true.. but at the moment I would like to sit in a corner and cry all this confusion out of me.. it is irritating and disturbs me to realize how lucky I really am..